Earth Defence Force 2017

Earth Defence Force 2017 is a B-budget game of B-movie proportions. The presentation and intro sequence are surpassed by most console games of the early nineties. The graphics and animations are wholeheartedly rubbish. The sound is worse. You won't give a damn about any of this because you'll have your hands on the biggest gun you can find, screaming as you show these scum sucking alien invaders the noisy end!

The entire premise of the game is simple. Kill giant bugs, kill more giant bugs, kill even more giant bugs, blow up some giganourmous robots, destroy their boss and then kill more giant bugs. If this sounds a little tiresome and repetitive to you, I would have to agree. Bizarrely, playing through level after level of ants and tarantulas hell bent on destroying everything the earth has to offer is more fun than watching piranha devour a parking attendant's toes.

That's not to say EDF doesn't do it's best to make playing the game a technical nightmare. Ignoring what the 360 is capable of completely, many of the graphics look like the came out of a N64 or PS1 game. The levels are bland, buildings look the same throughout the game, underground caves are boring beyond belief and your hero looks the same as every other soldier you see. He also tries to move around like Wayne from Lost Planet but ends up looking more like a camp marathon runner.

Buildings crumble after a single shot from a rocket launcher, space ships disappear into the ground when you've shot them down (luckily passing through you instead of doing damage if you're under them). Dead bugs lie on their back for a few seconds before disappearing. Should things get too busy on screen (which happens at least 3 times a level) then the whole game will slow down as if the 360 had just been given a near fatal dose of methadone. Cut scenes as spaceships come in overhead switch your camera view so you are always looking at the event. This happens even if you are being swarmed by acid spewing monsters meaning you can't fight back until you regain camera control. Urgggghhhhhh!

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